Found a bunch of my pictures and decided to do a lil’ ol’ hair post on hair intimacy within a relationship. Growing up, I was taught the importance of good hair hygiene and it was hammered into my head never to share a comb with anyone. These were the rules to good heath; clip your nails, never share a toothbrush or a comb, brush your teeth. I remember recoiling in horror when I discovered that my back then boyfriend had accidentally used my toothbrush. I contemplated throwing it away. I have never shared a brush or a comb with anyone besides family. So I view sharing my hair with another with someone else as intimately as sharing any part of my body as well.
What do I mean by intimately? I mean getting to the roots of your hair; touching your scalp (yay head rubs!), knowing the way the hair works and accepting the hair in whatever form. In my previous relationship, the man said that he preferred straightened hair in general. Clearly, we were doomed from the start. At the beginning of my current (and marvelous heh heh) relationship, I remember refusing to be seen because my hair was only halfway done with braids. At this point of our relationship, he was watched me take out my braids. He has seen the nasty nature of the way hair gets after two months in braids. Clumps and all. He has helped me put in braids. He has washed my hair. And I insist on head rubs just about every day.
The thing is, there is a trust. You trust someone with something you take pride in. And they trust you because well … you have a clean scalp lol. It would be nasty to tell a guy to rub your head when your scalp is all kinds of dirty and flaky.
Personally speaking, I don’t understand how someone can be truly intimate with a woman who has a weave. I mean, he is touching all parts of your body except for you head! Nonetheless, if a woman has a weave, it is the partner who needs to understand that a weave must not be pulled at … and he or she should accept the weave wearing girlfriend (or boyfriend. Hey, it happens). If you’re bald, then your partner must know that head rubs feel damn good. If you have braids, he or she should know not to pull at it when you just got them in! Hair intimacy to me is the comforts of wearing your hair around your partner anyway you see fit and not being judged by it. Hair intimacy is loving your hair and having someone love it too in whatever state that it is in and however often the style changes. - Yagazie
IG - yagazieemezi